


My Heart That Is More Honest

by goanty



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Childhood Friends, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, because doyoung IS easier to say than dongyoung tbh, doyoung is still called doyoung, more tags to come until this thing is finished pls bear with me :'), there's dojae and 2tae theyre actual couples, yuta and dy are bffs theyre both savages, yuta is so whipped he's starting to churn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2018-11-21 22:11:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11366664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goanty/pseuds/goanty
Summary: Yuta thinks he was nine years old when he fell in love with Sicheng for the first time, and seventeen years old when he fell in love the second time. Unfortunately for him, Sicheng never had that time for Yuta.





	1. The First

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I'm happy that Winwin is becoming more accepting of Yuta's affection, plus he sometimes even initiates it. XD Yuta's whipped soul is gradually heightening lol I feel like yanow since Yuta is very konnichiwa and you guys know the Japanese and well they're more accepting of same-sex relationships uwu omg idk. Anyways this is my first fic ever so pls be easy on me ;-; jk jk nah just roast me. This is the first time I've ever really taken the initiative to write a fic ever since my chansoo fic reading days.

      Yuta was nine years old when his mother arrived home hauling reusable bags full of groceries with her right hand and holding the hand of a lost-looking boy with her left. It was a custom for Yuta to help his mother transport the groceries to the kitchen, which he always did with unexpected enthusiasm for a child his age. He also liked to help sweep the floor and water the plants; basically any chore which he could help his parents with.

      Because of this, his parents took pride in him and would occasionally tell Yuta of how blessed they were to have him as their son. Of course, such praises had Yuta beaming so grandly that both of his parents would coo and Yuta would be motivated to continue and help more.

      However, such was not the case this time.

      His mother waved his hand off when he tried to grab the bag lowest down her arm, which earned a whimper of confusion from her arms-outreached son. She chuckled and smiled sweetly in response, bending down to kiss his soft cheek and whisper to him that she's home.

      Yuta giggled a welcome home before switching his attention back to the boy holding his mother's hand. He seemed to be younger than Yuta judging by his short stature (Yuta likes to mention always that he's already reached his father's hip) and rosy cheeks that looked too squishy to resist pinching. His impressionable eyes were directed to the floor, and they seemed to follow the yellow patterns of the carpet until the patterns reached Yuta's feet and the boy blushed harder and hunched his back shyly.

      His mother followed the trail of Yuta's vision, and exclaimed, "Oh!", probably because she remembered that a strange boy who looked like he could curl into himself was with her.

      She dropped the bags on the floor for a bit and kneeled down to place both of her hands on the boy's shoulders. Yuta noticed how the boy flinched a bit with the contact, but a small, content smile appeared in his face when Yuta's mother started massaging circles on his back.

  
      "Yu-chan, this is Sicheng! He's Yixing-san and Yifan-san's eldest son. They moved in the house near the water station a week ago. They're foreigners just like us! They come from China!" his mother giddily introduced in Japanese with strong excitement, her hands lifting from Sicheng's body to dance in the air. Yuta suspected that some of her zeal came from knowing that many of the kids in their neighborhood weren't really graced by the fact that Yuta was Japanese and a foreigner in Korea, so they didn't really invite him to play with them. The prospect of a fellow foreign boy seemed to appeal happily to his mother, who longed to see her son have at least one close friend with whom he can play with here in Korea where they had moved a year ago.

      "Sicheng recently got a new brother," his mother continued while softly patting Sicheng's shoulder, "Chenle is around four months old and he's quite a sickly and sensitive baby so his baba has to take good care of him and watch over him always. Yifan-san works from nine to five so Sicheng is usually left by himself in their house. Yixing-san and I think it's a good—no, wait— a _great_ idea that during your free times this summer vacation, you both should hang out and play with each other!"

      "So," his mother cleared her throat, large smile hanging with anticipation, "What do you say?"

      Yuta could only widen his eyes as a reaction, unable to process what his emotions were and what should he feel. The Chinese boy, Sicheng, seemed bewildered by the amount of foreign Japanese words that he's heard them speak, especially since they appeared to be talking about him. Yuta wonders if he can even understand or speak Korean.

      "Ko-Korean speak?" the boy asked in a hushed voice in accentuated English. It was a good thing that Yuta's mother was kneeling down, because Yuta thinks that she wouldn't have heard him if she was standing up with how low and quiet the shy boy's voice was.

      "Hm? Ah! No, no, no, no. Japanese. We are Japanese," his mother replied also in accentuated English, albeit less. Sicheng seemed to internally translate those words in his head, his eyes cutely squinting and lips pursing together. When he was finally done, his mouth formed into an 'o' and his eyes seemed to twinkle. "You not Koreans?" he asked with genuine amazement.

      "No," Yuta's mother laughed, "But you're thinking about how good I can speak Korean, yes? Well, we moved here one year ago and we've been learning it since then. I'm proud to say that I know the language enough to go around the market without a translator in hand. Yuta's Korean is very good too. He can teach you."

      At the mention of his name, Sicheng turned his dreamy gaze back to Yuta. He had to admit that upon further and effortless observation, Sicheng was very cute and huggable (and this was quite the statement because while Yuta loved receiving hugs, he disliked giving hugs to people other than his parents). One would want to pocket Sicheng to protect him with how vulnerable he looks. Not that that person would be Yuta.

      "I heard you like ice cream. Yuta knows enough Korean to buy you an ice cream," his mother fake whispered conspiratorially to Sicheng's ear, eyes trained on Yuta the whole time as Sicheng's pretty face drastically brightened along with a gasp and Yuta was sure he managed to induce the whole sun's radiance into his smile.

      "Really?!"

      "Yep! Go ask him himself," Yuta's mother softly ushered Sicheng closer to Yuta. By reflex, Yuta stepped back a bit before instantly regretting it when Sicheng's grin dropped slightly. This, as well as the patronizing stare his mom was giving him, caused him to stumble forward and clumsily stand in front of Sicheng. The original radiance of his smile instantly came back and his eyes formed into crescents that Yuta swore could challenge the stars in a twinkling contest.

      Yuta felt his cheeks redden as he progressively realized how all of Sicheng's attention was dedicated to him and him only. Yuta liked flowers, but now he's decided that he liked Sicheng more.

      He felt like he was about to tumble over when Sicheng cutely requested, "Yuta-ge, please buy me ice cream!"

      Yuta didn't know what he was feeling back then. Didn't understand the pang reverberating in his chest and the overwhelming sensation of wanting to keep hugging Sicheng and protect him forever, keep him close and never let him out of his sight.

      All he was sure of at that time was that he couldn't dare to refuse. So he smiled, stepped forward, took Sicheng's soft hand in his and said, "Okay."


	2. The Second

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahaha what is this. This is eight years after the events of the first chapter. BTW I changed the title hahaha the new title is from EXO's Don't Go. And I'm v sorry that it took so long for this chapter to be updated ;-; VERY SORRY. My relatives from Australia visited and I had to entertain them, so many days passed without me noticing.

      "Yuta, this presentation needs to be passed tomorrow and I've been doing just like, _all_ of it since last week because you're too damn busy mentally undressing Sicheng when we meet and too fucking lazy to drop by my place to do it with me," Doyoung threw his hands up in frustration. He and Yuta were currently hanging out im the canteen. They always ate together with their friends Sicheng, Taeyong, Taeil and Doyoung's boyfriend Jaehyun during lunch time, the only difference today was the hideously mangled laptop (some of its injuries poorly disguised by a bunny laptop skin) in front of Doyoung where he furiously typed as well as the absence of Taeyong and Taeil due to preparations for Taeil's competition.

      Yuta's cheek was pressed harshly on the table, fingers tapping a beat on it as he paid no attention to his nagging friend. He was vigilantly staring at the canteen's entrance, obviously waiting for his princess to arrive.

      "—ta! Fucking fuck, are you even listening to me? Or has your penis finally annihilated your brain and taken its place?" Doyoung screamed, accompanied by a relatively strong slap to Yuta's head that caused the latter to whine in pain and acknowledgement.

  
      "Ouch! The fuck, Doyoung?" Yuta cursed as he nursed his head. _'Can't you see that I'm waiting for Sicheng?'_

  
      "Oh, now you finally notice me. Just wanted to tell you that it's the year 2030 and Sicheng's already married with two kids," Doyoung snapped, interrupting Yuta before he could whine again, "Do you have no immediate plans to help me here? Because I am going to drop your soggy ass right in front of Sir Junmyeon and Sicheng when we're called to present tomorrow if you don't."

  
      This earned a distressed sound from Yuta, who raised his head and looked indignantly at his friend whose anger glare could kill someone if they didn't know he liked searching "bunnies doing cute things" videos during his free time.

  
      "Excuse me? I picked the theme and supplied the pictures as well as reference materials," Yuta defended before backing off a bit when Doyoung squinted his eyes and snarled. Yuta was surprised that he could do something like that effectively despite his bunny-esque face.

  
      "No. What you _actually_ did was supply links to Google images and websites, most of which weren't even appropriate or useless, and download a pre-made theme in just five seconds."

  
      "They weren't useless."

  
      "You sent me a goddamn furry gay porn link that I ended up opening in front of Jaehyun."

  
      "Hey, I thought you were bleating the other day about how Jaehyun wasn't giving you the attention you needed in the intimacy department. I was just trying to ease you up. You make it sound like I—" Yuta snapped his mouth shut when he noticed that Doyoung had lifted his fingers from the keyboard and was now looking at something behind him. Yuta had just missed Sicheng's much-awaited arrival thanks to their argument and the beautiful blonde was now on his merry way to their table, waving happily.

  
      Doyoung managed to give him a small grin and a wave back, before returning his seething attention to Yuta who was so extra with his arms flailing in the air and a face that screamed whipped. Doyoung didn't miss the expression of cringe that appeared on Sicheng's face for a second.

  
      "Yuta, this is your last chance," Doyoung breathed through his teeth.

  
      "Huh?"

  
      "Promise me that you'll drop by my place later to help me finish this shit."

  
      "What?! No!"

  
      "Are you challenging me?" Doyoung scowl turned into a slight sneer. "Sicheng did say I was a very honest hyung the other day, right? He said that amongst us all, he would believe the things I say the most, right?"

  
      Yuta's eyes widened in realization of the conversation's flow. Doyoung almost laughed at how cautious and scared his friend suddenly looked. "What are you trying to say exactly?"

  
      "I'm saying," Doyoung glanced at Sicheng's direction, making sure that he wasn't around earshot (thankfully he was stopped by Kun, who is Sicheng's ex, in his and Yukhei's table for a little chat), "that if you don't want me to tell precious Sicheng all about your bad behavior and shitty secrets, you better do as I say."

  
      "You wouldn't dare," Yuta gasped. He was downright being blackmailed. To think that Doyoung could bully his best friend like this was startling to Yuta. Sure, Yuta blackmailed Doyoung using Jaehyun maybe once or twice or even more before but for Doyoung to use an ethereal angel like Sicheng against Yuta? That was crossing the line in many levels but mainly Yuta's level.

  
      Doyoung's face transformed into an expression of pity and regret, and his smirk turned into a sympathetic pout. "Yuta, I love you. But when I'm desperate to retain my grades, you know I get pretty manipulative. This trait of mine was even encouraged by Sicheng's dad unwittingly," Doyoung explained, sighing as he took a sip from his iced tea.

  
      Yuta remembered the time before when they were in their last year of elementary and had met each other for the first time. Based on how close they were at present, one would never think that they had once absolutely hated each other.

  
      Yuta was a not really dumb kid who was just too lazy to try for exemplary grades, mainly focusing his abilities and potential on soccer. Doyoung was a transfer student from the Gyeonggi province who had proved since the first day he attended class that he was a grade-conscious scholar and determined to stay amongst the top. They were grouped together for a project during the latter half of the school year and that served as the catalyst for their first ever interaction with each other. Doyoung didn't really like socializing, especially with kids of the different social group. To him, Yuta was a no-good soccer athlete who would weigh him down. This judgment being the first ever thing Doyoung told Yuta when the latter approached him about the project during recess time.

  
      Doyoung had said it loud and clear. In the presence of Sicheng too.

  
      The friendly grin Yuta had generously displayed for him slowly faded as he took offense from the disrespect Doyoung downright gave him. If it wasn't for their classmates Taeyong and Taeil as well as a frightened Sicheng pleading Yuta not to bite Doyoung, they would have gotten detention that day for beating each other up.

  
      The days that followed were filled with the supposed partners working on their own narrative essays, silently fuming at each other. Yuta wrote about soccer, Doyoung wrote about physics. Yuta would rant to Sicheng about how pompous and arrogant Doyoung was. Sicheng, who was better at understanding Korean than speaking it, would just nod or shake his head and affectionately pat Yuta's cheek (Yuta would squeal internally).

  
      Doyoung had no one to tell on about how much of a jerk Yuta was for being able to ignore him for so long and going on without his help. His hyung had transferred to Busan for studies, and he was beginning to feel lonely.

  
      He saw how almost everyone was amiable with Yuta. The adorable Sicheng kid always followed him around, the class valedictorian Taeil always invited him to play table tennis with him, even the teachers seemed to like Yuta. Regrettably, even Jaehyun liked Yuta and they happened to be buddies.

  
      He started to acknowledge and see Yuta as the nice person he really is. If there was a jerk between the two of them, it was definitely Doyoung for insulting Yuta even before Doyoung had properly known him. His pride was basically the only thing keeping him from apologizing that time.

  
      Come the day of the essay's submission, their adviser noticed the strain between them and berated them for not working as a pair as they should. Sir Yixing happened to be Sicheng's father and a man who Yuta desired to impress; Yuta only ever excelled in Sir Yixing's subject.

  
      He explained to them the importance of teamwork with a placating smile then proceeded to threaten each of them with different punishments (Yuta with the danger of not being able to see Sicheng for a week and Doyoung with the danger of getting a deduction) if they didn't submit an essay which both of them had worked on. He extended the deadline for them until the next day to ensure that they would be guilty enough to make up and also so that he'd stop getting questions from his coworkers asking why Doyoung always stared forlornly at Yuta during classes.

  
      Sure enough, the both of them started panicking and hugging each other while repeatedly saying sorry, bolting out of the classroom to head over to Doyoung's house to finish the essay. They missed the smirk and chuckle their adviser let out, whispering to himself, "Kids these days are so easy to read."

  
      All in all, after their project about the physics behind soccer was submitted, they learned many things about each other. Mainly that they got along with each other really well and Doyoung's crush was Jaehyun and Yuta's crush was Sicheng. They became what would be considered best friends since then.

      Back to the present, the dilemma of the past may be similar but not really. For one thing, there were no merciful teachers willing to extend deadlines in their highschool.

  
      Yuta was still dumbfounded, jaw dropped and eyes accusing. Doyoung simply smiled and rubbed Yuta's hand. He knew how Yuta's every state and being could be altered when the situation involved Sicheng. "Please? I really want us to finish this presentation as a team. I don't want to hold this against you in the future . I mean, this isn't the first time I did everything in a group work—but, but, _but_ _!_ That's all in the past. Actually, to be honest, I'm also uptight 'cause Jaehyun's birthday is in a week and I still haven't thought of a perfect gift for him with all these requirements from hell. I could just really use the assistance. And I definitely won't badmouth you to Sicheng. You've loved him since you were like, seven or something. I'm the wingman's wingman, remember?"

  
      "Well. When you put it that way, fine. But I'll be leaving by eight o'clock or else my mother will kill me. Also you have to feed me dinner. Also, I'm sorry," Yuta conceded. He forgot to take into account his friend's status as student council president as well as batch salutatorian. Of course his work load would be increased _tenfold._ _Yuta_ was too caught up in his individual assignments that he completely forgot that his mandatory participation in his presentation with Doyoung existed. He cracked a small chuckle when his best friend hugged his head awkwardly from across the table.

  
      "Good afternoon, Doyoung-hyung and Yuta-hyung," Sicheng greeted, appearing from Yuta's side and scooting over to sit next to Doyoung. He placed an orange Tupperware on the table and opened it to reveal some ravishing dumplings. "Baba made these for us. It's our prize for fixing the side table last weekend and...Yuta-hyung, are you okay?"

  
_'_ _No_ _,_ _I'm_ _not_ _okay_ _._ _I'm_ _in_ _love_ _with_ _you_ _.'_

_  
_       "Eh? Yes, Winko, yep. You look really cute today," Yuta barely managed to recuperate from his trance brought by seeing Sicheng wearing the pink sweater he gifted him for Valentine's before he's smiling at Sicheng as if everything God has decided to gift Yuta for is in him. _'_ _Oh_ _,_ _brother_ _,'_ Doyoung muttered in his mind.

  
      Sicheng's face scrunched in displeasure at the nickname Yuta decided to grace him with as well as being called cute. In their group of friends, every single one of them sans Sicheng agreed to delegate Sicheng as the cutest one, much to his chagrin. "Aiyo, don't call me that, hyung. Call me Sicheng-kun or whatever, just not that. Winwin itself is horrible. Why did you look so deep in thought?"

  
      "We were reminiscing how your dad manipulated our innocent minds to turn us into best friends," Doyoung laughed, eyes sparkling with mischief and sentimentality. Sicheng's eyes lit up in remembrance  clapping his hands as he laughed. "Ah, if baba didn't interfere, you guys might still be at each other's throats by now!"

  
      "Possibly. I can't imagine a world anymore where Yuta isn't my best friend and oh my God, ew, that was cheesy."

  
      "Ew, what the hell, Doyoung?" Yuta teased, but he did appreciate the thought.

  
      "Sweet. What did he say to make you guys break though?" Sicheng asked through a mouthful of dumplings. _'Cute_ _,_ _cute_ _,'_ Yuta wanted to whip out a phone and take a picture of Sicheng's mushy face, but sadly he accidentally left it charging on his bed.

  
      "Well, he said he'd give me a five point deduction and then for Yuta he'd—"

  
      "Also give me a five point deduction!" Yuta laughed hastily, kicking Doyoung under the table which earned an annoyed groan from the latter.

  
      "But you didn't really care about you grades before, hyung?" Sicheng questioned, confused. He didn't really see how a threat concerning academics could cause Yuta to not visit him and instead stay up all night with a person he thought Yuta was enemies with.

  
      "Well, your baba was really effective. Give me some of those dumplings, they look good!" Yuta pointed at the container, trying to divert the conversation. Doyoung rolled his eyes at how ridiculous his friend was being. Even after seven years of having a crush on Sicheng and staying close to him, Yuta still hadn't found the guts to confess. Doyoung himself has had a crush on Jaehyun since he was eleven years old. The first person to know this was Yuta who began pushing Jaehyun closer to Doyoung, something Doyoung was eternally grateful to Yuta for. He was shocked when the younger boy confessed his feelings for him first later on, telling Doyoung that he found him handsome and that he hoped Doyoung didn't just look at him formally as a dongsaeng. Doyoung giddily accepted (and embarrassed himself by crying) his confession in front of all the cheering school athletes, a memory that Yuta will never let Doyoung live down.

  
      Nowadays, they're known as one of the strongest and cutest couples in their campus, following Taeyong and Taeil who have been together since elementary. Doyoung really hoped that Yuta and Sicheng will follow in their footsteps soon. Honestly, the only probable thing stopping them from being an item is Yuta's fear of rejection as well as losing his friendship with Sicheng as a consequence. It's understandable since these such fears were also Doyoung's before Jaehyun became his. It broke his heart when one time Yuta appeared on his doorstep agitated and teary eyed. Yuta broke into years in the midst of their anime marathon after an hour of going without explaining the reason behind his sudden visit. While comforting Yuta, Doyoung learned that that day, Sicheng started dating a boy named Kun who was "smart and Chinese and could play the flute." Yuta cried with the pain it felt to love someone who didn't love you back. They spent three hours of the night with Doyoung rubbing the back of a sobbing Yuta clutching a pillow and whimpering his confessions to it.

  
      He doesn't know if Sicheng likes Yuta back, but he sure as hell knows that Yuta _loves_ _and_ _cherishes_ Sicheng. If Yuta can't marry Sicheng, he'll live a life alone with cats and die feeling like he achieved nothing.

  
      "Here. This is good energy source too. It's bad if you keep eating ramyeon all the time. You get kidney stones and UTI," Sicheng muttered as he brought a dumpling close to Yuta's mouth. _You're_ _a_ _good_ _energy_ _source_ _,_ Yuta sighed internally.

  
      Yuta made a show of licking the dumpling and slowly devouring it into his mouth _,_ lips softly grazing Sicheng's fingertips. A stain of pink took over Sicheng's cheeks. Yuta's eyes penetrated Sicheng's for the whole ordeal, even if Sicheng was avoiding looking at Yuta.

  
      "Mhm. Delicious," Yuta complimented as he licked his lips. He basked in the reaction he got from Sicheng, since these were the only times Sicheng ever blushed for Yuta. He purposefully ignored the eye roll his best friend directed at him as well as his grumble of, "And I thought I was the inappropriate one."

  
      "Thanks," Sicheng stuttered as he offered the dumplings next to Doyoung. Doyoung knew how bitchy jealous Yuta can get so he grabbed his chopsticks and took one himself, politely declining Sicheng's offer to feed him. "Where is Jaehyun? And Taeyong and Taeil-hyung?"

  
      "Taeyong chaperoned Taeil in his practice for his international mathematics competition. Jaehyun is on his way. His Chem class just got dismissed. Someone thought that playing around inside the lab with trays of lab equipment surrounding them in the presence of Ma'am Taeyeon was a good idea," Doyoung explained, checking his phone to see if Jaehyun texted anything after the " _FINALLY CLASS IS DISMISSED. FUCK YOU_ _TEN_. _Bout_ _to_ _go_ _there_ _babe_ ;)" one.

  
      Yuta snorted as he reached out for another dumpling, arm almost tipping Doyoung's iced tea over his laptop. "I'm sure he was trying to flirt with Youngho, and Ma'am Taeyeon caught him in the middle of a mating call dance. Poor Ten. I'm sure getting your ass handed over to you in front of your crush is humiliating as hell."

  
      Doyoung, who had just begun to type again, raised his eyebrow at a frowning Yuta side-eyeing him. Due to their long term friendship, it was easier for them to understand what the other wanted to say without speaking. Sometimes it came in handy, except for the moments when Yuta would accidentally yet not so accidentally answer out loud.

  
      Doyoung nodded his head and made a gesture of zipping his lip, assuring Yuta that his ass was safe.

  
      Jaehyun arrived at that moment, still half clad in his lab coat. He took the time to give Yuta and Sicheng clammy high-fives before taking a seat across Doyoung. Yuta imitated gagging when he caught both of them giving each other heart eyes and mouthing "babe" at the other, after Doyoung passed Jaehyun his lunch that Doyoung himself had made. Sicheng thought Yuta was gagging for real and immediately stood up to help him.

  
      "Sicheng, Yuta doesn't need help. He's just being an immature ass," Doyoung huffed as he and Jaehyun secretly played footsie under the table.

  
      "Aren't immature asses your type, Doyoung?" Yuta joked, earning a laugh from Jaehyun who said he couldn't argue with that. Doyoung rolled his eyes for the nth time that day and continued to type on his laptop undisturbed. The usual chatter amongst the group struck, Jaehyun relaying what happened in the Chem lab and Yuta and Winwin ranting about the anime they just finished. Doyoung would occasionally butt in to ask for Yuta's input, though he wasn't really sure if he should listen to the answers Yuta gave.

  
      "What are you typing, hyung?" Sicheng asked Doyoung after they had lost topics to talk about.

  
      "The Social Science presentation due tomorrow."

  
      "You and Yuta-hyung are going to present tomorrow?"

  
      "Yes, because someone sucks at drawing lots and made us second presenter."

  
      "Well then why wasn't it you who drew lots tthen, hm?" Yuta retorted as he watched Jaehyun beat the boss in the game he was playing.

  
      "Whatever," Doyoung snorted, "Let's just finish this thing before tomorrow comes. Which reminds me...," Doyoung whipped his eyes from his screen to Sicheng. "Yuta, Jaehyun, and I are going to have a sleepover at my place, mainly to finish this."

  
      "What, we never invited Jaehyun to this!? And sleepover?! Hell no!" Yuta complained. Having Jaehyun over meant having a free movie ticket to "Jaehyun And Doyoung Making Out On Every Surface And Corner Of Doyoung's Room."

  
      "Dude, I'm his boyfriend. Every gathering like this automatically translates to me joining in. I practically live in his house anyway," Jaehyun piqued in.

  
      "Yes, true. Now shush. You wanna join us, Sicheng-ie?" Yuta's eyes widened at Doyoung's proposition. The way they sparkled resembled the kind of eyes a puppy would have once their owner gave them the treat they want. If Yuta could literally radiate sunshine with how much he looked excited, then he could illuminate the whole poorly lit canteen.

  
      "Would love too, hyung! Just gonna call baba and Chenle to let them know."

  
      Sicheng surely wasn't the one who had the biggest smile in the table afterwards.

      "Just this one last reference, then save anddd, done! Whooo!" Doyoung fist pumped the air and carelessly threw the laptop off his lap and on the bed, rolling over to lie down on Jaehyun who had sat beside him for moral support (more like secret sneaks of Jaehyun's hands inside Doyoung's shorts). Yuta and Sicheng settled on the mattress on the floor, the former busy closing all the tabs related to the presentation they had just been doing. Sicheng had wanted to help, but Yuta insisted that he had no obligation. Sicheng ended up falling asleep shortly after they'd lied down.

  
      "Yuta, wake Sicheng up. It's 8:31, we still have time to watch a movie or something," Doyoung yawned, feet nudging the top of Sicheng's snoring head.

  
      Three and a half hours later, the four had finished watching one thriller movie and two episodes of a web series featuring their favorite actor Do Kyungsoo. By the end of their marathon, Jaehyun was already violently snoring on Doyoung's lap, while Doyoung had already lost the battle against closing his eyes. Yuta and Sicheng were the only ones left awake, although Sicheng's eyes were already starting to droop. They were about to start on the third episode of the web series but then Sicheng forgot to smother a particularly loud yawn, a sign that they should go to sleep.

  
      "No, hyung...let's watch...watch it, hyung...the third episode..." Sicheng drowsily attempted, reaching out for Doyoung's laptop that Yuta closed and pushed away from Sicheng's reach. Yuta chuckled at his cuteness. _'I_ _want_ _to_ _watch_ _more_ _with you and_ _be_ _with_ _you_ _,_ _but_ _I_ _also_ _don't_ _want_ _you_ _to_ _be_ _tired_ _and_ _sleepless_ _.'_ In Sicheng's sleepy state, his eyes would repeatedly fall close then abruptly open, lips were slightly parted as he breathed through his mouth. "You need to sleep. We still have class tomorrow."

  
      "Nooooo," Sicheng whined, "I still want to...to watch with you, hyung." The end of his sentence was slurred, but his eyes tried to stay open in determination, staring at Yuta. _'_ _Stop_ _that_ _._ _Don't_ _say_ _that_ _.'_

_  
_       "Let's just go to sleep. You can watch the third episode with Kun tomorrow." Yuta didn't even know where he got the power to say that with a smile. In actuality, Yuta was still jealous of Kun even if what he and Sicheng had was long over. The former has already been dating Yukhei for four months. No assurance or reprimand from his friends could stop Yuta from pettily labeling Kun as "Flute Loser Krakun" in his phone contacts. His anger and insecurity was just starting to wane when Kun ended up being Sicheng's roommate and Yuta screamed.

      "I don't want to watch with Kun-gege. I don't like him, I like you _,"_ Sicheng dawdled on. He repeated the last sentence on and on as if to say that he really liked Yuta. Or as if to rub it in Yuta's face and remind him that  that  is the limit of Sicheng's affection, confined within the word "like." Yes, Sicheng might like Yuta to the maximum but he might never love him like Yuta loves Sicheng. ' _Please_ _, just stop_ _it_ _,'_   Yuta was already starting to feel the familiar feeling of a constraining weight pushing on his chest, the erratic beating of his heart that can't take being held back...until Sicheng murmured something that wasn't very long and wasn't very loud, but enough to swipe the weight off and ease Yuta of the pain.

      Sicheng's eyes widened for a moment, glinting just for a second.

      "Yuta-hyung, I love you."

      And with that Sicheng collapsed into a slumber, eyes shutting with the burden of trying to stay awake.

      To say Yuta was shocked is an understatement. The person he loved and practically worshiped, sleeping in front of him in flesh and bone, just told him the words he'd been meaning to tell Sicheng ever since he'd learned to yearn for Sicheng's smile forever. Just seconds ago he was suffering, so why was he feeling so happy then?

      "I'm, wha—Sicheng?" Yuta tried to nudge Sicheng awake, the unconcious need for clarity almost driving him to persistently wake him up. In the end he listened to his more rational thoughts to let Sicheng be.

      "Mhmm," Sicheng was dead asleep but he wasn't asleep when he told Yuta he loved him. The uncertainty of the meaning behind those words frightened and excited Yuta. The gravity of it all making itself be known.

      Because Yuta wanted to tell those words to Sicheng when Yuta was temporarily removed from the soccer team for failing two tests in Math, and Sicheng carried five heavy books all by himself to Yuta's house so that they could study Math together and so that Sicheng wouldn't get hurt anymore from seeing Yuta kicking his soccer ball in frustration.

      Yuta wanted to tell those words to Sicheng when Sicheng broke down in the broom closet (away from people's eyes) during his papa's funeral, and he clung and sobbed into Yuta's chest while Yuta whispered to him how brave he is for trying his best not to cry in front of his baba and that Uncle Yifan had loved him and been proud of him and will continue to even in heaven.

      Yuta wanted to tell those words to Sicheng when he heard through Doyoung that some guy tried asking Sicheng out for the first time, and even though Sicheng rejected the guy's offer he felt like ripping the guy's head off his body for trying to take what's _his_.

  
      Yuta wanted to tell those words to Sicheng ever since he first met him. Ever since he was young and innocent, ever since Sicheng first smiled at him with the luminance of a boy meant to be loved.

  
      " _I_ _love_ _you_ _."_

_  
_       "I love you."

      It's been said in Yuta's mind in the voices of a nine, ten, sixteen year old but always has its sincerity been the same.

      For Yuta and Sicheng, many years have passed. Years of growing up, of adapting to a foreign place, and of hardships and good fortunes. But for Yuta, the most important thing is that many years have passed since he first fell in love with the epitome of his happiness named Sicheng. Yuta doesn't know if someone can fall in love a second time for a person they still love. But Yuta feels like he did just that, yet with a newer perspective.

      He fell in love with hope that Sicheng might love him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry omg two weeks that's so long ;-; one last chapter and this thing is done I should stick with one shots I'm horrible. Not particularly proud of this so might edit it but for now post yay. Tnx for reading d(-_^)


	3. The Unknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuwin is real u can't argue with me if u think that ain't true. Also i am going to say this while it's still credible but CHENLE IS A BIG BABY

      Dong Sicheng has loved Nakamoto Yuta since he was nine years old. He fell in love when Yuta first smiled at him, which was when they first met.

      Sicheng was small and fresh to South Korea back then. His parents decided to move there after his papa was offered to relocate work at his company's Seoul branch. The first time his parents announced their impending departure, Sicheng threw a livid tantrum that only stopped when his younger brother Chenle started crying. Five weeks passed with his parents gradually succeeding in making Sicheng accept his fate, though ambivalently. He was leaving China and it might not be too soon before he returns.

  
      He was so frightened when they arrived at the airport, the fleeting excitement of flying in the air dissipating. He clung to his papa's sleeve the whole ride to their new home, sometimes asking for his papa to sing to him in Chinese whenever he got tired of the driver speaking to his parents in Korean.

   
      "Sicheng, you'll have to learn Korean sooner or later so just listen to the mister, will you?" his papa groaned after Sicheng had requested his seventh song. "But Papa," Sicheng whined, "How can I listen if I don't understand? Korean sounds so different."

   
      "Aiyo, how did you learn Chinese? You listened to us and what your teacher said, didn't you?"

   
      Come the second day after their arrival, Sicheng still refused to learn Korean. His papa had begun his first day of work while his baba took care of Chenle and cleaned the new house. Workers were moving their boxes in and Sicheng sat on the backyard with nothing to do. He was playing a one-sided staring game with the pit bull from the house across theirs before his name was called, causing him to immediately lose.

   
      "What is it, baba?" he asked as he approached his father near the front door. A woman was cooing at Chenle in his baba's arms, his chubby hands waving in the air as she pinched his soft cheeks.

   
      "There you are. Sana, this is my other son Sicheng. He is nine years old and an incoming fourth grader. Say hi, Sicheng," his baba smiled as he spoke in English, softly pushing Sicheng closer to the amazingly pretty stranger.

   
      "Hello..." Sicheng whispered shyly as he shifted closer to his baba's legs.

   
      "Oh my! He's adorable as well! Hello, Sicheng, hello!" the woman grinned happily as she waved at the little boy who was tightly clutching the fabric of his father's pants. "My name is Nakamoto Sana and I live nearby with my husband and son. I'm here to welcome you to the neighborhood." Sicheng noticed that she was carrying what seemed to be a box in her left arm. The woman must have noticed where he was looking as she giggled and handed the box over to Sicheng. "I'm a baker! I made delicious red velvet cake for you and your family to share."

   
      The speechless Sicheng could only but nod his head and say a quiet "thank you", as he couldn't formulate more words to say. He understood English, but he was much better at understanding and speaking Chinese. It seemed like the aunty didn't mind his silence at all though.

   
      His baba and the aunty continued a conversation in Korean. His baba used to study in South Korea so he knew how to speak Korean quite well. Sicheng didn't know if it was fine for him to leave so he distracted himself by fiddling with the ribbon on the box's cover.

   
      "Speaking of my son," the aunty started, switching back to English and smiling at Sicheng, "his name is Yuta and he's around the same age as you. Maybe you'd want to play with him?"

   
      At the prospect of playing, Sicheng's eyes lit up and he stared at his baba for approval, who chuckled and ruffled his hair with his free hand.

   
      "Fine, but place the cake Aunty Sana brought on the dining table first."

   
      It didn't take two seconds before Sicheng was on his feet running towards the dining room. The two adults laughed, while Chenle stayed deeply asleep after getting tired from the attention showered on him.

   
      "Yixing-san, would it be okay if Sicheng and my son become playmates? And if he could hang out at our place often?"

   
      Yixing grinned as he reassured her. "Hm? Of course it would be okay. You said your Yuta is lonely? My son is too. Even in China, he had a hard time getting friends because the kids made fun of him for having two fathers. I really appreciate the effort you made to welcome us so warmly, and I'm certain they'll be best friends in no time. 

      That same day, Sicheng met Yuta. He felt shy and awkward as he stepped into a new home, and it didn't help that a boy was staring at him as if he was an exhibit. Aunty Sana introduced the boy as Yuta, her son and his supposed playmate. He was tall and had bird nest hair, his eyes set on Sicheng only. Sicheng felt like his face was all red and he tried to hide it by bowing his head and pretending that the carpet was very interesting. He also learned that they were not Korean but Japanese. The fact that they were not of this country like him urged a sense of comfort to come upon Sicheng.

  
      The real deal breaker was when Aunty Sana told him that she knew she liked ice cream and asked if he wanted Yuta to get him ice cream. Sicheng's eyes glimmered and he couldn't help smiling at Yuta who looked at him wide-eyed. It was as if the hesitance he felt towards Yuta melted away as he approached the latter excitedly. He felt a short feeling of disappointment when Yuta backed away, but then Yuta must have realized something and he immediately stepped (more like awkwardly stomped) closer to Sicheng.

   
      Up close, Yuta was handsome. Sicheng always heard his baba call his papa handsome. He wasn't really sure of its definition but he thinks handsome means that the person can make your heart beat ten times faster and make you feel happy. At that moment for Sicheng, Yuta was _indeed_ handsome. He admired his face that Sicheng didn't realize progressively took on a reddish tint the more Sicheng stared happily at Yuta.

   
      Gaining the courage to speak, Sicheng made his best smile and puffed out his chest the way his baba said made him look like a chick easy to pamper. "Yuta-ge, please buy me ice cream!"

   
      In the short span of time it took for Yuta to reply, Sicheng didn't know of the avalanche that was occurring in Yuta's mind. But then Yuta smiled so gracefully at him, and Sicheng felt like that smile could simulate the light of a thousand moons shining in a dark night. The moment Yuta took his hand in his and softly told him "okay", Sicheng didn't know why his heart felt as it did. He felt as if he was being warmed by a cozy fire, emotions and colors flourishing that can only be described as home. For a small, _small_ moment, Sicheng dared to think that Yuta was better than any Chinese lullaby his parents can sing to him.

      The whole time they walked to the convenience store and purchased ice cream, the Japanese boy was the icebreaker between them who brought random topics to talk about here and there. Through this, they were able to learn more and more of each other and how alike their interests happened to be. Their hands were still intertwined the whole time too (the cashier couldn't help but squeal at their darlingness). 

      "Sicheng, you're very cute, you know?" Yuta smiled as he watched Sicheng take a kittenish lick out of his vanilla ice cream.

  
      As if on automatic, Sicheng cheekily replied, "I know, Yuta-gege. That's why you brought me ice cream. This won't be the last time you'll buy me one." 

      The laugh and cheek pinch from Yuta that followed was enough to make Sicheng beam far more intensely than if he were to be given a truckload of ice cream. 

      Later on, he relayed his day to his two fathers during bedtime, the latter people replying with "oohs" and "wows" as they reveled in the delight their son was portraying after being sullen since the day they moved. To his papa, he told him what happened after he left work (which basically consisted of the day-to-day things they did in China except that workers moving stuff in was now included). Afterwards, he talked about meeting their new neighbours and how nice Aunty Sana was for letting them play on their computer until Sicheng had to go home. When he talked about Yuta, Sicheng stated all the details as raw and naive as a child like him can describe.

      He talked about meeting Yuta as well as going to the convenience store with Yuta. He repeated to them the Korean words Yuta taught him, his favourite being "yagsok" meaning promise. He explained to them that he arrived home a bit too late because they were too embroiled in a game of Mario Kart. He also asked them if he could visit Yuta again as soon as possible, preferably the next day. At the end of his rant, his baba asked him to tell him more about what he felt for the Japanese boy and Sicheng unsuspectingly elaborated more on that. He missed the weird looks his fathers gave each other when Sicheng began babbling about how nice he felt when Yuta smiled at him and held his hand and how he thinks Yuta is very cool when he laughs which is all the time. 

      "Aiyo, Yifan. I suspect our boy is in love," his baba clapped his hands as he dropped on the bed giggling. His papa rolled his eyes and snorted disapprovingly, eyes scanning Sicheng's confused face.

      "Hush, don't be ridiculous. What does a child know about love? We don't even know this kid yet. For the worse of it, he might even be a bad influence on Sicheng. And what do you mean you felt as if your chest was being set on fire, Sicheng?"

      "Well, it felt warm...like how it feels like when we were in China and sitting near the fireplace. It felt safe."

      "See," his baba jolted up from bed, "warm and safe is what I felt when I met you and experienced love at first sight!"

      His papa knitted his eyebrows at his husband who voiced approval of the idea that his nine-year old son now had a life of romance. He looked at Sicheng who appeared lost and unaware of what exactly they were talking about. _Of course. The heart that is inexperienced and young is the heart that is true and honest,_ Yifan sighed in his mind. He cleared his throat as he prepared himself to lecture Sicheng about something important he'll need to know later on in his life.

      "Sicheng, do you like Yuta?" 

      "Yeah, a lot!" His papa cringed while his baba whooped.

      "Well, when you like someone a lot, you call that love. There are different kinds of love; there's love for family, friends, yourself. An example is how your baba and I feel for each other. We love each other dearly and we also love you and your brother Chenle. Whenever we see you, we feel really grateful and happy. Whenever you cry or get hurt, we feel utterly sad. What you feel for Yuta, well your baba thinks it's love. I'm quite uncertain about it but when someone can make you grin and have your heart jump ecstatically without doing much more than being themselves, I can declare that as love damn right. Your---ow! What the heck, Yixing?"

      "Language."

      "Oh, sorry. Your heart is something that is precious. Don't hand it over to just anyone. Give it to someone who deserves it, who deserves your love. Lock it safe in your chest until you find the one. If it's Yuta, then it's Yuta. Don't get too hang-up when it isn't him. You might not fully understand this now, but you will in the future. Now good night, Sicheng." And with that his parents pecked his forehead and tucked him in bed. After they had turned the lights off and closed the door, Sicheng remained pondering in bed, staring at opaque darkness which was the ceiling.

      He started to wonder if he ever gave it and if he did, when? His heart that his parents said he should only give to someone special. Then again, Yuta _was_ special. Yuta was someone Sicheng felt already held Sicheng's heart captive in his hand. He didn't mind though. Sicheng wanted Yuta to keep it forever anyways.

      Six years later, he still felt the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wait my estimate was wrong this fic will actually be four chapters lol. Stay tuned for the next and absolutely last chapter. (0w0)/ Making a thingy about love through kris is weird XD what does a heartless person like me know about love jk jk also if the end note from the first chap appears ignore it idk how to fix it.


	4. The Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the last chapter! :D Thanks for reading this far and I hope u enjoy this word dump ;u;

The morning after their sleepover, Yuta, who was the last to fall asleep, was unfortunately also the first to wake up. Sicheng followed eleven minutes later when Doyoung's phone alarm blared near his face where it had fallen on the floor from the bed. The image of a pouting sleepy Sicheng with his hair sticking out in all directions was enough to start a good day, though seeing Jaehyun and Doyoung cuddling on the bed with Jaehyun's hand inside of Doyoung's shorts easily toppled that out of the window.

When Yuta escaped to the bathroom to wash up, replays of last night's revelation reeled in his mind.

"Yuta-hyung, I love you."

The tumult that refrained him from catching a wink returned. Seven years of his life and he felt like they were a lie. Everything he has accepted and denied, just so that he could keep Sicheng by his side even if it hurt himself, has all led to this.

"Why isn't he saying anything? Does he not remember?" Yuta mumbled to himself lowly as he stared at his reflection, brushing his teeth so harshly that blood had mixed with the foam when he spat. So far, all he got was a typical good morning greeting. He examined Sicheng in the mirror through the open door. The Chinese boy's head hung low, beddings pooling around his feet. His head drifted to the side then recovered back as if he had fallen asleep before jolting awake. Yuta chuckled and shook his head, patting his wet mouth with a towel.

 

"Good morning, Jaehyun, Doyoung-hyung," Sicheng groggily greeted as he tried to use the steam from his drink to help open his eyes. Yuta just gave them a flimsy wave. "Ohayo, Japanese hyung and Chinese dongsaeng," Jaehyun rubbed at his eyes as Doyoung simultaneously yawned, "Good morning, bitch. Good morning, Sicheng-ie. Who cooked breakfast?"

"Your mom did. She left for work already though," Yuta replied, biting on a fried egg. It's been almost thirty minutes and neither Sicheng nor Yuta has acknowledged what had happened. Yuta sure as hell wanted to bring it up but with how Sicheng was acting, it seemed like the latter didn't even remember what he had said last night.

"Did you like the ending of the episode last night?"

"I don't recall how it ended but I'll make sure to rewatch."

"How's Kun doing? You guys are really close for a bunch of exes."

"He's failing his Physics class and blaming it on the teacher. Yeah, we're closer than when we were dating."

"This sausage tastes nice."

"Yes."

Yuta gritted his teeth. Actually, Sicheng forgetting wasn't the only issue. It was also that Sicheng became thriftier with his words as well. It was as if every answer he gave was either cautious or uncaring. There was none of the "hyung, hyung" or detailed curiosity in his dialogues. Their friend telepathy wasn't active either. Thirty minutes into the day that Sicheng has been scrolling through his phone and he hasn't asked the meaning of a single Korean or Japanese word to Yuta.

Is he ignoring me?!

For once, Yuta was glad Doyoung and Jaehyun appeared. The cold tension in the air needed to be dispelled a bit.

The four huddled around the dining table nursing individual cups of coffee and hot milk (Sicheng didn't drink coffee). Jaehyun talked about stuff that went straight over Yuta's head, his attention focused on Sicheng who also appeared to not be participating in listening to Jaehyun. Every time they made eye contact, the longest Sicheng would hold his gaze was 2 seconds.

Yuta sighed and gazed at his last sausage. Guess you're my buddy now, he whispered at it forlornly.

Turns out it would be that for the next three days, Yuta would have to find a buddy in inanimate objects.

 

"Taeil-hyung, I did something really bad," Sicheng whimpered on top of the elder's lap. They were currently hiding behind the school dorms, a location they went to when they wanted to share something in secret. Sicheng, who Taeil noticed was glum for three days straight, suddenly requested for them to meet there before their sixth period. The gravel beneath them stuck at their butts but neither of them minded. Sicheng was sad and Taeil was concerned. Taeil always thought his fluffy chick dongsaeng was an entity deserving of protection.

"Hmm. Did you eat two tubs of ice cream in one night again?"

"No," Sicheng muttered, "I wish it were that. Oh God, I wish it were that."

"Guilty because you didn't study for a test and you bombed it? Though I think that's unlikely."

"No. Haven't failed a single test this semester."

"That's a good Sicheng. Missing China?"

Sicheng stopped to think for a moment, then shook his head. Of course Sicheng would always miss China but that didn't seem to be the main issue.

Taeil caressed Sicheng's soft hair. The gesture soothed the younger a bit. It was reminiscent of when he was still a child and his fathers would lull him to sleep by rubbing his back and massaging his hair. For a moment, Sicheng's chest didn't feel like it was caving in on itself.

"...Is it Yuta?" Taeil questioned carefully as he traced the younger's hairline.

Silence. Sicheng gave no answer. He instead tightened his grip on Taeil's slacks and sunk his face further onto his hyung's lap. After a minute, Taeil felt dampness on his lap and the softest of sobs fled to the air.

Taeil didn't need to understand more. He knew how much Yuta meant to the boy. Something must have happened between them, judging by how Yuta was accordingly despondent throughout the three day period that Sicheng reeked of unhappiness. He asked his boyfriend Taeyong about the matter but the latter was just as clueless as he was. Doyoung and Jaehyun were lost causes since he couldn't find them (they were probably eating each other's faces off in a comfort room stall).

Taeil thought of what he should say as he continued to pet the boy's hair. Sicheng's body was vibrating with the sobs and hiccups he was trying to muffle unsuccessfully. Taeil hoped that no one, especially not a teacher, would discover them. He checked his watch; they had five minutes before their next class.

"Sicheng, it's okay. Shhhh, it's okay. You're okay," Taeil whispered warmly as he raised Sicheng's head from his lap. If he were the insensitive shit Doyoung was, he would have laughed at the snot dribbling down Sicheng's nose. But he wasn't and he was a responsible hyung who happened to carry a handkerchief to wipe away Sicheng's bodily fluids of sorrow. "Don't cry, Sicheng. Hyung will help you. Please tell me what's wrong. Both you and Yuta have been gloomy today."

Sicheng let out a rather fresh sob before he coughed out his reply, "I-It's my fau-fault. The other ni-night when we slept over at Doyoung-hyung's, I told hyung that, that I loved him th-then I pretended to fall asleep because I didn't mean to say it. And hi-his face was so shocked and I really regret ever opening my stupid mouth because I know he'll never feel the same." In between his words were stutters or poor attempts to swallow back a sob, reminiscent of a child.

"Sicheng, how are you so sure that Yuta doesn't feel the same way as you?" Taeil asked incredulously. He was more or less dumbfounded that Sicheng believed Yuta would never feel the same, because that was the biggest lie he's ever heard after Taeyong said he was straight the first time they met. Yuta would practically illuminate whenever Sicheng was around. Taeil recalled someone, most probably Johnny, saying that only a dumbass won't see how much Yuta loves Sicheng.

"If you had seen his face, you'd know. He looked like this, like he didn't want to believe in what I said. He was frowning, hyung. He never frowned at me unless I did something incredibly bad like steal the neighbor's kitten. And awhile ago morning, he never brought it up. I saw him staring at me through the bathroom mirror and his face looked like he was disgusted," Sicheng ranted, sobs slowly coming to a halt as he started on trying to fix himself up to look at least classroom worthy.

Meanwhile, Taeil took a moment to process the information. Yuta disgusted with Sicheng? Heck, Sicheng could end up having colonies of molds on his face and Yuta would still call Sicheng's face a "gift from God meant to be peppered with kisses." Also, Sicheng loved Yuta? He and the gang always thought that what Yuta felt for Sicheng was only a one-sided love, no offense to that Japanese noodle. Where Yuta was clingy and kissy, Sicheng reciprocated with awkward smiles and seemingly uncomfortable laughs. It's been a running gag amongst them to hide Sicheng before Yuta can smother him with unsolicited love.

"What?" Sicheng asked, eyes wide and mouth agape.

Oops. It looked like Taeil accidentally voiced that second revelation out loud. How he managed to talk a whole paragraph without realizing is beyond him.

"Sicheng, Yuta has been nursing a big, fat crush on you since he was nine or something. We thought you knew and the reason you kind of sometimes brushed him off was because you didn't like him back a—"

"That's because I get flustered whenever he gets close with me or tells me he loves me!" Sicheng face had taken on the vibrancy of a tomato. "I thought he was just joking around or doing it playfully. I even thought he knew about my feelings and was only treating me like that because he pitied me. That's how I've felt for three years! Three!"

"Huh. Well. Now you know," Taeil smiled. It was a knowing smile. Taeil stood up and brushed the dust off his butt, offering his arm to Sicheng. "We're already three minutes late for our class. Think of what you're going to do on the way. Also, there's still some tears on your chin or is that snot?"

 

Yuta eyed Taeil and Sicheng as they bowed and apologized to the teacher for being late. Luckily for them, the teacher wasn't the sort to heavily reprimand so they were able to make their way to their desks without much of a scene. Yuta would have leaned in and interrogated Sicheng where they've been, but with the awkwardness he gazed at his book with an uninterested face. Taeil was the guy Sicheng always stuck to and Yuta would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous.

Yuta heard the vaguest noise of Sicheng's seat pushing nearer. He looked to his right and found the boy fiddling with his ball pen, eyebrows curved anxiously and acknowledging him. "Hi, hyung," Sicheng's wavering voice barely reached Yuta's ears. Yuta instantly noticed his slightly red-rimmed eyes and his runny nose. 'Were you crying?'  The question hung in the air.

"Hey," Yuta replied hesitantly, wondering why Sicheng was suddenly talking to him after ignoring him for three days. He was relieved nonetheless though. "Can we talk after this?" Yuta didn't miss how Sicheng scratched the back of his head, a telltale sign that he was nervous.

Yuta didn't know how to respond. He was a little angry about Sicheng avoiding him all of a sudden after dropping a bomb at Yuta's face the other day. Maybe Yuta didn't respond for a solid minute there because Sicheng's poofy eyes were like crescents and the way his smiled was so adorable and can his heart be blamed for talking faster than his brain? 

"Sure," he couldn't hold back a smile too. Maybe today, later on, he'll confess. 

 

[ One month later ]

"Sooooo...since when was this again? Anybody want to inform this friend of theirs?" Taeyong eyed Sicheng and Yuta who currently had the former lounging on his lap. Out of their group of friends, Taeyong was the most lost one, having been the only one who screamed when Yuta and Sicheng kissed each other in front of them two days ago. This caused Taeyong to sulk about how left out he feels, though he couldn't hide his happiness for the two nonetheless.

Sicheng giggled as he was about to answer, but Yuta cut him off with an arm wrapping around his waist. 

"Since we were nine, Taeyong. Nothing knew. We've always been in love," Yuta smiled, face so bright and so in love. The Chinese boy bowed his head to hide the redness that was overtaking his cheeks. He held onto Yuta's arms, eyes tracing the patterns embroidered on it.

You so haven't changed, Yuta thought as he kissed Sicheng's nape. He remembered the first day they met. The first day Sicheng called Yuta his best friend. The first day they had a major fight because Yuta had his first kiss with another. The first day Yuta realized he can't ever look at Sicheng as only a friend anymore. The first day they became a couple, when Yuta hugged a crying Sicheng who had beat him to confessing first. 

And even if if they wont be firsts, Yuta will be sure to remember the days they'll have in the future.

 

 

BONUS:

Doyoung received a smack from Yuta after loudly complaining about the loose virtues youths today employ, causing a ruckus where Jaehyun and Sicheng try to stop Yuta and Doyoung from hitting each other across the table. 

By the time they were pacified, almost all of the students were staring at them. Sicheng, being the polite person that he is, bowed in apology to every one of the tables while Yuta checked out his ass each time he bent down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, after four months, I finally published this ;u; I'm so sorry for going missing in action. I also feel like the ending might be a bit rushed. I really need to curb my procrastinating habits *sigh* but really THANK YOU for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Ey so this is like the first time I've posted a fic and okay wait I AM A SUCKER FOR YOUNG LOVE okay okay I got that out of my system. I only know a bit about honorifics of the Japanese, Korean and Chinese due to anime, k-pop and exo-m (cry) respectively so if I made a mistake please inform me ;-; also I kinda want to mention that I wrote the latter part of this chapter while a cheap romcom was playing loudly in the background and so my mind could not properly analyze my grammar yay. Anyways, next chapter will be a time skip! :D We will have an older Yuta and an older Sicheng and by older I mean I can write about the Yuta's natural capacity to be a walking porn (maybe).
> 
> P.S. for those who want to get an AO3 account do please apply for an invite now lol I had to wait 4 days for mine. Tho I find it hella cool and sometimes I forget AO3 is still in beta :0


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